
COLLABORHYTHM COLLABTUNES
(31/35) — Book Three
FIVE CAR RIDE TALKS
Driving to the Pot Store — Again!
Brief Summaries
What follows is a collection of five recorded talks, each captured in the car on the way somewhere, each circling the same larger project from a different angle. They are presented here in full and unedited. This outline exists only to give the reader a quick map before diving in.

More
This talk is about creative inventory. Decades of writing have produced not just finished work but an enormous archive of fragments, half-ideas, single strong lines, and pieces that never quite came together on their own. The point is that this raw material has real value, and there are several distinct paths for developing it further. Comedy songwriting, collaborative upgrade sessions, short-form concepts, and improv-based creation are all on the table. The asset is already there. The question is how to organize and execute around it.

The talk also addresses the business structure needed to make any of this work at scale. The model being described is one where the creative work is already done and what’s needed now is the right people in the right roles to move it forward. The catalog doesn’t need to be built. It needs to be deployed.

Hot Girls
This talk uses one specific song concept as a window into the broader creative process. The idea starts as a provocation and gets developed through logic, data, and structure until it becomes something with a real shape. The method being described here is repeatable: take a strong or surprising premise, define it clearly, find the data or reasoning that supports it, and build the piece around that framework rather than around emotion alone.

The example is funny on its surface, but the underlying process is serious. This is how a lot of the catalog gets made. The joke is the vehicle. The method is the point. (Editor’s Note: The actual ratio is as far as I have gotten so far – there are NO lyrics. YET….)

Dirt
This talk is a pre-emptive self-assessment. When someone goes public with something this large and this personal, scrutiny follows. This section addresses that directly — what the dirt actually is, what it isn’t, and why the risk of exposure is manageable. There are no crimes. There are embarrassing stories, there is a long period of isolation, and there is a version of life that doesn’t look great from the outside. All of it gets named here before anyone else can name it.

The back half of this talk shifts into something more reflective — about the lifestyle choices that led to this moment, the deliberate minimalism, the years of working without showing anyone anything. It ends on forward motion. The isolation is over. The work is about to go public.

Point
This is the strategic and philosophical core of the whole project. The catalog is not designed to appeal to one audience — it is designed to pull from both ends of the spectrum and funnel everyone toward the middle. The early albums are accessible and warm. The later albums are extreme and confrontational. Both are intentional, and both serve the same function: getting people into the room.

The talk broadens into a wider argument about division, power, technology, and what it means to try to change anything at this particular moment in history. It is frank about the state of the world and equally frank about what music can and cannot do. It ends where the project itself is meant to end — with the idea that bringing people together over something real is still worth attempting, and that this catalog is the vehicle for doing it.

Free Agent
This talk is the launch declaration. It lays out the bare minimum needed to go public — the website sections, the video, the PDFs, the comment boards, the September 1st deadline. It frames the project as a free agent actively seeking the right partner, not waiting to be discovered. The September 1st date is not a release date — it is a deadline for a bidding war. The catalog opens on that date. Whoever wants in needs to be ready.

The talk also reflects on the nature of the project itself: the difference between Book One, Book Two, and Book Three; what a bare minimum launch looks like versus the full vision; and why maximum simplicity is the strategy. It ends on the same note every car ride ends on — let’s go.

Full Talks (transcribed by Gemini and Turboscribe)
Talk 1 of 5
More
Okay, whoever’s listening, we are discussing some other possible of i have oh my goodness um probably two thousand fifteen hundred shitty poems or pieces of poems that or lyrics that weren’t up to um the par up to the um the level that I like them to be good enough to share with the mass audience. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of good ideas. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a really good line here or there that can be built. It’s many times in my life I have taken. The best example of this was Unity. Unity, a quick story. I got in a huge fight, not a huge fight, but I got really mad at my aunt in Florida because she was married to a drunk and I went to visit her and I had a whole bunch of my poetry there and stuff. And one day I took like five or six or seven of my best love pieces and I broke them all open and put them all laid them out all on the on the on the floor and I started looking at this and looking at that and then I said okay these are all decent but if maybe I take this lyric here this lyric here this lyric here this lyric here and then these three lyrics here, or stanzas, whatever, maybe we can make the best fucking love song ever.

All the songs written out and the summaries of it. So we can mimic that type of style um and we can exclusively focus on uh funny ass songs like parodies and not even parodies just coming up with original songs that are just funny as motherfucking hell and so that is always an option. That’s easy. And using ChatGPT as a guide to help you and just as a thinking, just a content generator of ideas just to get things flown. I can do anything. I can write anything with that thing. So Funny Things is just one idea that we have that could be very easy without any work um the second was like i said i have uh probably 1500 poems and things that are okay we can open those up for dissection and uh just have upgrade poem poem night or something like that where we have all my B material, C material, and we see if we can make something A material.

That’s always fun. It’s a, you can always take two or three things and make something good sometimes. So that’s a possibility. I also have, oh my God, probably 500 or so just one or two lines lyrics or ideas or just one one one thought one something that are just pieces of like gold like something really cool um like if i if i only write down one one line it’s going to be good because I don’t write down shit. My whole life, I don’t write down shit. It has to be good. So that’s the way I look at it.

Another thing would be um yeah okay another probably if was this the fourth the fourth thing um what we could possibly do is just have song writing ideas I definitely have categories of instead of just a single line or a single or a couple lyrics i have like a premise for a song or an idea or a song like like for instance i’ll share i’ll share a a song with you that is in the works that i’ve been trying to map out but i i need 19 or 20 people to actually do it right so i have an idea and it’s called political orgy and i picked 10 of the men or 10 of the women or 12 men, eight women, something like that. I picked either 19 or 20 people of like the most well-known politicians in the last like 20 years or the people you’d really know.

And the premise is that it’s called political orgy. So the idea is that you take 19 political people and you think to yourself, OK, there’s a couple of lines of thinking you go. But the first line you go is, OK, you think that. All right. who likes who? What are the alliances here? So, you know, this Democrat likes this Democrat and this Republican likes this Republican. So if they’re going to be hooking up, they’re going to be like doing like things to like, if you like somebody, you’re going to give them oral as opposed to if you don’t like somebody, you’re going to stick them in the ass.

But just to convey that, essentially, I’d like to explain that the Democrats and the Republicans, there is a giant restaurant. Okay. and there’s two doors or there’s two sections but it’s the same restaurant there’s a section on the left section on the right maybe they call it different restaurants but it’s the same but essentially what it is is you have and you have one exterior entrance over here and another exterior entrance on the other side and but in between them there’s, there’s a kitchen that’s linked, and nobody knows, or it’s not obvious. So all the Democrats go into one restaurant, all the Republicans go into the other restaurant, and they get served, and the atmosphere is completely different. But the problem is that the fucking food is the same, and the cooks are the same in the same spot.

And then finally we could have potentially competitions or open contests almost like the show with the bald guy and the Ryan Stiles the tall guy and Wayne Brady and whatever that show was where it’s like improv comedy, but we can do, relatively speaking, improv songwriting where you have some topics or you find some way to make it fun and you give two or three different musicians or artists 20 minutes to come up with something or 10 minutes to come up with something about something or or you can go from uh i’ve never done this but i’m sure you could go around the circle in a room and one person does the first line the second person does the second line and you know you could do something like that there’s just once you get um me and some more talented people in the same room we could fucking do anything.

I don’t make, I’ve never made music live with a band. I’ve talked to Tyler Thompson over the phone a few times while he was playing and stuff. I’ve talked to Justin Justice a bunch of times, but not really when he’s playing. He taught me a fucking shitload. He’s a brilliant motherfucker. So, I mean, brilliant. I mean, I mean, I mean, I’m in awe of that dude.

And oh here’s here’s the cool thing i also have a giant box of handwritten lyrics from their original sources from freaking uh calendars from dodge street in salem which is now a pot store um the bar uh dodge street in salem i used to go there a lot and i used to write a lot of shit there so i got I got a lot of original material handwritten original copies of stuff that I did for over the last 20 years I got a whole box full of it so the cool thing is if if this stuff if this ever does blow up we I got a whole yeah we got a whole we get we get a whole archive of of memorabilia to sell or put on for auction or whatever.

So yeah so i have a whole bunch of um stuff that that we could do besides my whole everything that’s specifically listed in my my book one and book two of 34 albums and then there’s always the 35th album like I said I did I did talk about that these 34 albums I happy to put them out there for free to give every musician to start and to kind of use my situation that’s very unique as a way to give a chance for people to revolutionize the industry of music and go bottom up instead of top down. 27 minutes is quite a quite a take all right later Tom out peace.

Talk 2 of 5
Hot Girls
Okay, we’re going back to the pot store! Woohoo! But first, we gotta make a pit stop at the Seabrook City Tobacco and BJ’s in Seabrook for gas and cigarettes. Not for me, cigarettes are disgusting. If you smoke, you’re very, very silly. Put some ganja in your cigarettes if you’re gonna do it, man.

But anyway, okay. So I was thinking, I have something to record later for a longer period, but I’m like, I want to think of something short for this 25 minutes. So, as soon as it comes back to me, the idea that we’re gonna talk about is like the songwriting process, the creative process. Because I was thinking to myself, is there anything else I want to put in the book as a little bonus section or side note? It’s all done, but I’m like, just sitting here, okay. Is there anything else I want to put in my book that is anything important or anything that I might want to explain or anything?

And I’m like, I haven’t really talked about the songwriting process, or at least for me. So I’m going to give a recent example of how things work. And a lot of times what’ll happen is I’ll have an idea that I want to portray and I’ll think about, okay, I have an idea. So the idea I had was: dude, don’t kill the fucking hot ones. Okay? And I was thinking to myself, I’m like, dude, there’s a lot of men out there and there’s a lot of women out there, but the amount of women who everybody wants, or all the men would consider the most attractive, I guess, I wanted to kind of get an understanding of, okay, so how many hot girls are there actually out there? And how many men are out there? And is there data that can give me ammo? That’s usually, if I have, it’s rather simple, it’s more thinking than anything. If you have a statement and you want to see if that statement is true, then you look for data. Okay?

So I had a statement that said, or I had an idea that says, don’t kill the hot attractive females. Because my idea, generally speaking, is every time you kill a hot attractive female, my chances of hooking up with an attractive female better looking than me go down by a significant percentage, essentially. So how do I portray this or what can I do? Are there any data points that can help me back me up, give me some material to write some lyrics, I guess, or further my point?

So we tallied all the data. We took out gay men, we took out, we’re like, okay, who’s in the pool, who’s out of the pool? We want the seed pool. So people who couldn’t have sex religiously were out. People who were lesbians were out. Gay men were out, or strictly gay men were out. And there were certain under-an-age, certain over-an-age, whatever. So essentially, I got the data that I felt comfortable was accurate.

And I said, okay. So we did the math and it was six billion here and six billion here, minus two billion here, and so the moral of the story, fast forward, it says, it’s essentially a little college paper, not college-like paper, that says don’t kill the hot girls. Okay? And why. So it’s a math-based, statistic-based outlook or attempt to portray the issue or why. It’s just mathematical reasoning rather than emotional. So I define what everything is, because that’s what you have to do.

Look guys, when hot girls, any woman, don’t get me wrong, I’m taking a, if I just make a statement, guys, don’t kill women, it’s too broad to make a story out of it. But if I say don’t kill the hot girls, it makes it particular. It makes it much more appealing to the pigs out there, the men pigs, and it gives it a lot more humor. So it gives it some extreme context to make it even more like haha or more shocking or whatever. It gets more of a reaction than hey guys, don’t kill the girls. Okay?

Okay, so the data reflects, times up! You gotta have your guess. Okay, what is the ratio? What to one? All right? How many men are there for every hot girl? We can give you multiple choice. We can say there are five men. We can say there are four men. We can say there are three men. We can say there are two men. We can say there is one man.

Okay, in parentheses, the music to Final Jeopardy plays. Voice of Alex Trebek comes on. Okay, reader. He restates the question: how many hot girls are there for every one guy looking for a hot girl? Or hot woman, whatever, in the properly aged range, nothing illegal. That was what we deemed only, just to make it simple.

Okay. Contestant number one, what is your answer? Alex, I put two, two hot women for, no, two men for every hot woman. Okay, Ed McMahon, is that correct? Ehh! No, wrong! Okay, sorry. How much did you wager? All of it. Okay, sorry contestant one. Now, onto contestant two. What did you wager? Hi Alex. I’m gay, so this is just a guess, but I’m gonna say that there are maybe four? Four guys for every hot woman? Ehh! Wrong! How much did you wager? Nothing. Okay! All right, well you still have a hundred.

Okay, contestant number three. It’s down to you. What did you, what was your answer? What did you guess? Alex, I have the answer, because I wrote the fucking thing. And the answer is: three men for every hot woman.

So if you’re in a car with two guys and you’re a guy, and you all want a woman, you got two choices. Essentially, boils down to you got two choices: either one, go find a whore and split her three ways, that’s option one. Or option two, kill your two friends and go take the girl. I’m out.

Talk 3 of 5
Dirt
Okay, are we recording? We’re recording. This is 13 minutes to the tobacco store left, and we are going to talk about the dirt. Okay, when Tom gets famous, absolutely worldwide famous as the best songwriter ever, of all time, the dirt’s going to come out. What’s the dirt? Okay, we have good news, we have bad news. The good news is, to the best of my recollection, and the best of my knowledge, I don’t have anything that anyone can prosecute me for. It’s just embarrassing stuff. I don’t regularly break the rules, crime things. I don’t do crimes, especially if there is a victim of a crime. I am the most anti-victim crime offender.

Even if I wanted to commit a crime, as soon as somebody cried or said, oh stop, I would stop. I’m like my cat, my cat, my three-year-old black cat. In Maine, we had an empty room, and there was a closet that had a little mouse that would come in sometimes. So I would intentionally not kill the mouse, and my cat would, like once every couple days, find the mouse, and play with the mouse, and chase the mouse, and catch the mouse. And every time the mouse would make a noise like it was hurting, the cat would stop and let go. And so she did kill a few mouses in her day, but the percentages of mice that got killed for the times that she played was maybe five, ten percent.

So yeah, so I don’t send the mice into the slaughter. So if they can get away, I help them most of the time. And that’s kind of like, I think she learned that from me. Because I have a lot of bark, and if my back is against the wall, and you are threatening something that I care about, oh good luck. Good luck with that. Let me know how that works out for you. But when it comes to being the crime minister, as some might call some people, no, I’m not like that.

So in that sense, the dirt, okay, lots of bisexual stuff or lots of gay stuff in the last five years, that’s going to come out. I get better head than your mom, that’s why your dad left. And that’s for damn sure. I’ve had maybe 15 people tell me that’s the best head they ever got in their entire life. 10 to 15. So the comment sections are going to be comparative. And women are going to say, the most orgasms I’ve ever given in one session is seven. When I was 18 at Framingham State University, in one week I once had sex with three girls, three different girls named Michelle. I think that’s a record.

Yeah. Yep. For all the people who are going to attack me for Zionism, my first girlfriend was Jewish and we dated off and on for three, four, five years, six years. And she could say something’s bad about me because I was immature then. But I broke up with her like the week before finals. And looking back, I can’t believe I did that. That’s terrible. What a fucking asshole. I would be mad at that. I would be mad. I’d be mad at that. So I apologize deeply.

So anyway, as far as all the dirt coming out to get me, does anybody have a vendetta against me or anything that they’re going to say, oh him. Oh, that fucking guy. No one’s coming to mind. I really, I have a list of people who have wronged me, but I don’t even remember who most of them are. So I don’t have any really, I stopped holding grudges a long time ago. That shit weighs heavy.

I took on a lifestyle that was somewhat minimalistic that focused on my silly cat or back in the day, my two cats and rhymes and poems and YouTube videos and pot and relatively cheap things and shitty food, I guess. And whatever the small things that get you through are without really, to basically living 24 hour days or hour to hour, not really having a long plan other than I’ve always had a long-term plan of my book of poetry. Like, yeah, I’m going to write, write, write, and then I’m going to do something with it. And I did that. And then I stopped. And then now I’m doing that again.

My giant plan for making music in this 34 albums, which used to be 31 albums project, is we are days away from actually being able to give away a business card and say, hey, everybody look at me. So but to do that, it’s still against my nature right now. The main reason is because things fell into place too perfect where like, I originally set up my project another way just to go make live music. And then in early March, it was like the very beginning of March where I started thinking to myself, what would happen if I made my lyrics free? So I’m like, what if I replicate that? And then it just started hitting me like open source, free lyrics, fucking start from the ground up.

So okay. So this is Dirt One. I’m at the city tobacco. So we’re going to pause here. I’m going over the final things I want to have on my website. I have, besides everything that I want to transfer over, that is all the sections of my book. So I want to put, I want to make sure everything on my book is on my website in individual sections. That’s relatively easy. Okay. Over and out.

Talk 4 of 5
Point
Hello, everyone. Let us title this, Driving Back From Maine, How to Start a Political Movement.

Okay, so I have 34 albums worth of material and that symbolizes or represents the extremes of my writings. The first six or seven albums are put together in such a way that they’re all peace and love and bunnies and the world’s going to be a great place and everybody’s happy, essentially, or I’m trying to find love and I’m inspired. It’s, generally speaking, going to appeal to a certain audience, let’s just say, a certain demographic. The last six, seven albums are extremely controversial, extremely divisive, very divisive, as far as some people are going to think it’s great, some people are going to think it’s terrible, so it’s going to split a lot of people and that’s fine because essentially we have a little plan.

The general idea is to take everybody who is introduced to my first 6-7-8 albums and they come in a nice way and they come into the pool or yeah, they go into the ocean better yet and there’s no waves and they just, nice day, they get their feet wet, they come in a little bit, they come in a little bit more, they’re like, oh, it’s nice here. Okay, great. And then at the opposite end, you have my crazy seven albums of 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, whatever it is. So those are designed to get the complete opposite demographic.

But the point is, is that we are getting everybody in the extremes, and we’re sending them to the middle. And the middle is where we point them at somebody. We, basically, we take everybody who likes to love stuff, we send them to the middle, and then we send the middle out to fight. We take everybody who likes the crazy shit, and we send them to the middle, and the middle is where we send them out to fight.

Now what does that mean? Sending them out to fight is just letting everybody know what the fuck is going on in the world, so that we can find out how to start un-fucking things, essentially. We need to use the levers of power so that they reflect the will of the people in a lot more things than they do.

So my generation, I’m 47, I’m going to be 48 soon, we grew up outside. We had to talk to girls. We would ask our friends if so-and-so liked us. We would pass notes, okay? Those are things that, that’s paper. That’s a piece of paper that you write on with a pencil, or a marker, or a pen. I don’t know if they have that anymore, but it used to be interesting, because sometimes the notes would get stolen, and make for some crazy, or intercepted, or gotten by the teacher, and may make for some very interesting situations.

And today, everyone is taught that with this technology that we have, everyone can be 100% self-sufficient with everything that they ever needed to do. You don’t need anyone to ever do anything for you, you can do everything for yourself. You can learn how to freaking be your own dentist, for fuck’s sake. So to the point where you don’t need any other humans, and that’s a sickening, disgusting thing, because I’ve been alone for the better part of the last 15 years, as far as humans is concerned.

So the point is that I see where the world is now, and I used to be insanely pissed off that I wasn’t born in 1945, 1946, because that was the time to be born. The baby boomers, they had the best fucking life you could have, okay? They fucking own everything, and they think they own everything, and they take everything, and they won’t let go of anything. So basically, this whole world’s gonna suck for another 10 years, five years, until all the baby boomers are gone, and then we have a fucking chance.

We live in a confusing time, and we are two years away from reality, never even knowing what reality is, because essentially everything that throughout the course of history we’ve used as evidence is now not going to be able to be used as evidence, because basically anything that’s a picture or a video or anything that documents, it can all be altered. So there’s going to end up being a reality police, where it’s going to be fake this and fake that, and you’re going to have to figure out what the fuck is fake and what the fuck is not.

The whole point of this book is to try to get the people that have said for the last 10 years, if you like Donald Trump, don’t talk to me, I don’t want to have anything to do with you — those people, you’re fucking morons, get your head out of your fucking ass, okay, because if you think you can do shit with that many people who you are not including, then when we’re already fucked, we’re trying to get unfucked. If you want to get anything done, you guys got to stop finding the things that separate you, and find the things that bring you together.

You have to actively start stripping this shit back down, in the legal ways that we can, bring back some control, start at the local level. The Donald Trump administration would be similar to, what is it, Howard Taft’s administration, where there’s one administration that was just known as the fucking grift, buddy, it was grift on top of grift, on top of grift.

As crazy as it sounds, I’m going to tell you my best hope for the freaking world, right now. I think probably the best hope for the world would be for Russia to become back to world power again. You need a heat check for the United States. But you don’t want that heat check to be people that are so goddamn foreign from Americans, that it’s completely different in everything. You want your enemy to look like you. To have different ethnicities, and different religions, that are completely the opposite of yours, those aren’t the enemies you want, because that makes it easy to hate those fucking people.

And music is one of those powerful things that, if we’re all waves and we’re all energy, that’s all it really is, then it makes sense that music is so powerful. And like, I like a lot of things in life, but music has been the one thing that, music and women. Haha. Really, really good women.

So to want to try to do that and contribute to the idea of bringing people together over music and through common things, as opposed to bringing people together over something negative, is what I would prefer to do. And I think it’s a noble cause. So that’s it. I’m proud of my venture, and I think that it has a shot to be well-received. And I think that the overall idea could be built on and built on and built on, so that it could be a very powerful organization, union, or collection of people that has some power that can shift things back a little bit. Peace out.

Talk 5 of 5
Free Agent
4.24.2026

Okay, this is some more final thoughts of what we have to do for our final presentation-ready website and basically our grand opening—call it grand opening, call it May 1st grand opening—things that we have to do and the only things that we have to do to be bare minimum ready to start giving our business card away and say what’s up.

First of all, I want to say that it starts September 1st. That’s the most important thing. It doesn’t start for four months because that gives me time to draw some attention and get a bidding war and have a deadline for a bidding war.

I’m a free agent.

So let’s go peacock ourselves, get some people interested, and then have a deadline so that all offers must be in. September 1st this thing opens and the words are allowed to be used. However, whoever wants to do anything, start doing it now—September 1st is when this goes into effect.

Second thing: obviously I have to finish my video—the 7-hour, 24 set lists, me singing—because that’s a motherfucker. It takes forever to upload, so I have to finish and upload that, probably using somebody’s Wi-Fi who has better internet.

The next thing is I have to take sections 1 through 35 and put them all on my website, make that symbol, and then once I have this 1 through 35 section, I can combine all of them into one PDF and have that available. And if we don’t get to do our two books right now, we just have the online unprintable version—that’s great. That’s even better.

For protections, we can put together a quick PDF—Book One, Book Two—and throw it to a publishing platform so that we can have our ownership and copyright protections from the published book, but we won’t actually sell it.

I want comment boxes for edits or mistakes, where people can type in and say, “Hey, on this page, this should be this.” So I want a comment box where people can give themselves a username, put a comment in, and have it be a public message board that updates.

I want a comment box that says “I like this,” so people can give themselves a username and say they like it. I want another comment box to say “I hate this.” Users should be able to upvote and downvote. Very simple—username, comment, vote, and sort by newest, most votes, or most downvoted.

I also want a comment box for edits, corrections, and user-found mistakes. Same setup. I want a dialogue box where opposing thoughts can use words instead of fists—talk it out.

I want another tab that says random title puller, where all 434 titles go into a random generator and you click a box and it gives you one. That would be cool.

I also want a section that says I write my own headlines for major publications—where I decide what headlines should exist in order to capture the story instead of having them define it. I wrote everything else. I might as well write the headlines too.

But the main thing is the 1 through 35 tabs on the website, then combining those into one PDF and making it downloadable. Make my website how I would like it to be in perfection land so that people can see what the vision is. That’s the idea—show my best version of the vision so far.

My strength is the ability to say a lot with a little. Maximum word density. Give me seven words and I’ll try to make them count. That’s where I operate best.

Book One is the full text and mandatory materials. Book Two is the auxiliary stuff—charts, guides, indexes, and everything that helps people navigate Book One. Book Three is the combination of Book One and Book Two. That’s the simple structure. And that’s what has to be done in order to pass out business cards and say: let’s go.

Collaborhythm / Collabtunes — Document 31 of 35 — collabtunes.com
— Tom Jensen

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